Pig sty: A sick student’s room before he or she properly disposes of used tissues and cleans doorknobs, desktops, keyboards and other surfaces with virus-killing wipes.
The Farm: Mom and Dad’s house, where pigs who live near campus go to recover rather than sit in the pig pen day after day.
Sleeze: to sneeze properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy. (Variation: sneeve.)
Sloff: to cough properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy.
Boar War: An all-out on-campus effort to prevent the spread of H1N1.
Bacon: What a pig experiencing an H1N1 fever feels like, i.e., fried. (Usage: Doctor: “Pig, how are you feeling today?” Pig: “Like bacon, doc.”)
Oink: A pig’s cry to his/her friends for help with deliveries of food (“slop”), class notes, over-the-counter medicine or other necessities to the pig pen.
Pork barrel: Derogatory term for an entire residence hall afflicted with H1N1 (knock on wood that never happens!).
Hog blog: the university’s flu information Web site at http://flu.jhu.edu/
Hog tide: Alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
Hogwash: Washing hands frequently and thoroughly, with either hog tide or plain old soap and water.
The Arnold zniffle: The sound a pig makes just before properly using and disposing of a tissue. [For derivation, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Ziffel]
Trough: A dining hall, where unsanitary pigs could easily transmit the H1N1 virus if they share drinks, utensils, etc.
Pig tale: The story of the aches and pains a pig experienced while sick with H1N1.
Piggy cold: The name Dean Susan Boswell's daughter uses for H1N1 flu.
Pig puns: H1N1 jokes.
