|  | | | | For our fellow students who have not yet gone "ABD" we offer this humble yet thouroughly scientific guide to history of science, medicine, and technology dissertation topics: The Dissertation Topic Wheel of Chance!
History of Science.
First, spend eight or more years in school to become a scientist, because everyone knows that only real scientists can write history of science. Then, once you become a scientist, simply write down the first thing that pops into your head. | Biographical History.
Seek out any long-dead and half-remembered obscure scientist who once was footnoted in a mildly interesting conference paper given by yet another long-dead and half-remember obscure scientist. Then write whatever you want about this person, since no one else will have ever heard of her. (Make sure all heirs and descendants are dead or well bribed.) | History of Technology.
Take a trip to Best Buy and max out your credit card by purchasing the latest electronic devices. Then, disassemble them on your living room floor and take photos of all the pieces. Write anything you want, liberally inserting photos of said pieces ever three pages or so. | History of Medicine.
First, spend eight or more years in school to become a doctor, because everyone knows that only real doctors can write history of medicine. Then, once you become a doctor, simply write down the first thing that pops into your head. |
Spin me | History of Ideas.
Sit very still and use introspection to figure out exactly what emotion, fantasy, or odd prejudice is occuring to you right now. Then locate the history of this idea in the extensive writings of Parmenides. Finally, write whatever you want, because ideas are all subjective anyway. | Social History.
Accuse all the other historians of perpetuating the social ills and oppressive hierarchies which forced you into the obscure and unremunerative occupation of social historian, hiding the fact that you are actually writing whatever you want. | Recent History.
Pick any topic that took place in the last 5 years or so in the Baltimore-DC area so you won't have to travel to do your research and you can use on-line primary sources (i.e., web pages) exclusively. Then write whatever you want because the web is an inherently unreliable and multi-interpretive hypertext medium anyway. | Theoretical History.
Decenter your subjective otherness through a pseudo-Marxian ontology of semiotic "decentering" within the spatio-temporal matrices of late cultural capitalism in the global con-text. Then write whatever the hell you want, with gusto! |
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