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Flu Update for Students, Faculty and Staff

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University Information
General Flu Information

 The Johns Hopkins H1N1 glossary for students

(September 14, 2009)

A new disease demands a new dictionary. The Johns Hopkins University Office of Communications and Public Affairs offers these lighthearted suggestions (and prevention reminders) for campus conversations about the H1N1 pandemic.

Pig: A student ill with suspected or presumed H1N1 flu. (Variation: Piglet: a sick freshman.)

Pig in a blanket: A sick student complying with doctor’s advice to stay home, drink fluids and get plenty of rest.

Pig in a Snuggie: A student complying with doctor’s advice in a blanket with sleeves.

Glazed ham: A pig with fever sweats.

Pig Latin: A sick student’s Classics homework.

Pig pen: A sick student’s room, where he or she stays until 24 hours without fever, off of fever medication.

Pig sty: A sick student’s room before he or she properly disposes of used tissues and cleans doorknobs, desktops, keyboards and other surfaces with virus-killing wipes.

The Farm: Mom and Dad’s house, where pigs who live near campus go to recover rather than sit in the pig pen day after day.

Sleeze: to sneeze properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy. (Variation: sneeve.)

Sloff: to cough properly (into one’s sleeve) when a tissue isn’t handy.

Boar War: An all-out on-campus effort to prevent the spread of H1N1.

Bacon: What a pig experiencing an H1N1 fever feels like, i.e., fried. (Usage: Doctor: “Pig, how are you feeling today?” Pig: “Like bacon, doc.”)

Oink: A pig’s cry to his/her friends for help with deliveries of food (“slop”), class notes, over-the-counter medicine or other necessities to the pig pen.

Pork barrel: Derogatory term for an entire residence hall afflicted with H1N1 (knock on wood that never happens!).

Hog blog: the university’s flu information Web site at http://flu.jhu.edu/

Hog tide: Alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

Hogwash: Washing hands frequently and thoroughly, with either hog tide or plain old soap and water.

The Arnold zniffle: The sound a pig makes just before properly using and disposing of a tissue. [For derivation, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Ziffel]

Trough: A dining hall, where unsanitary pigs could easily transmit the H1N1 virus if they share drinks, utensils, etc.

Pig tale: The story of the aches and pains a pig experienced while sick with H1N1.

Piggy cold: The name Dean Susan Boswell's daughter uses for H1N1 flu.

Pig puns: H1N1 jokes.

Copyright 2009, The Johns Hopkins University